Mark Scholten

Spiritual Friendship and Growing in Grace

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I hated the dating scene.  I once knew the unutterable anguish of considering the terrifying possibility of asking someone on a date.  Will she reject me? Perhaps she will laugh? Will she break my heart? After the first few dates, while some of the initial painful questions are answered, other queries arise and the stakes are increased.  Can this joy continue? What if she really knew me, the real me? Would she still like me, accept me? Is she the one?  We tend to put our best foot forward and strive to be on our best behavior in a courting relationship.  Establishing an intimate relationship with a potential spouse is a process of peeling away the lies, false pretenses, and half-truths, all the while trying to manage our expectations, calm our desires, and modify our dreams.  Many prefer not to face their fears and so never enter the dating arena. Others can keep up a relational farce well into marriage and true intimacy is never really achieved.

We face some of the same obstacles when seeking to establish a deepening spiritual relationship with a brother or sister in Christ. We tend to have many spiritual acquaintances and few if any, real spiritual friends.  Establishing spiritual intimacy confronts similar questions to building relational intimacy. Can I trust my brother with my weaknesses? If they knew the real me and my dark struggles, would they receive me with the sharp edge of the law or with the healing balm of the gospel? Can I trust this one with my heart? Can I step out from my false fronts and posturing? Can I take the mask off and reveal the real me, warts and all?  It can be a terrifying thing to be completely honest with another Christian.

Many years into my Christian walk I sought a spiritual friend but was horrified that I might find one.  I preferred to do my spiritual wrestling with old, dead theologians and not a real, live friend.  Most prefer spiritual melee in the dark to fighting in the light.  We are ashamed of our sins and prefer to deal with them quietly, in the dark, alone, rather than come into the light, remove the mask in public, and expose ourselves to possible rejection, condemnation, and ridicule.

But sin thrives and strengthens in the dark. We cannot overcome sin on our own.  True, God’s help is required and it is enough.  But God has given us our brothers and sisters in Christ as part of his help.  

“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). 

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16).

Deepening fellowship in Christ requires that we are open and honest about our ongoing struggle with sin.  One spur to sanctification is to bring the darkness of sin into the light of fellowship with a grace-wielding believer.

How should we receive a brother or sister who approaches us in honest brokenness and with deep wounds?  We must meet them in their openness and honesty with the warm embrace of grace and truth, forgiveness and acceptance.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2

“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4

“so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:7-8

We must receive our struggling but still confessing and repenting brothers and sisters as Christ has received us, in gospel love. 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I hated the dating scene but I love the marriage. Building true, spiritual friendships are worth the risk. 

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24. 

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17

So, find a friend. Develop a deepening spiritual friendship. Be honest, be gracious.  Let us fight sin, and overcome it, together.

 

The Enigma of Man

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The conclusion, therefore, is that of Augustine, who said that the heart of man was created for God and that it cannot find rest until it rests in his Father’s heart. Hence all men are really seeking after God, as Augustine also declared, but they do not seek Him in the right way, nor at the right place. They seek Him down below, and He is up above. They seek Him on the earth, and He is in heaven. They seek Him afar, and He is nearby. The seek Him in money, in property, in fame, in power, and in passion; and He is to be found in the high and the holy places, and with him that is of a contrite spirit (Isa. 57:15). But they do seek Him if haply they might feel after Him and find Him (Acts 17:27). They seek Him and at the same time, they flee Him. They feel themselves attracted to God and at the same time repelled by Him…
He longs for truth and is false by nature. He yearns for rest and throws himself from one diversion upon another. He pants for a permanent and eternal bliss and seizes on the pleasures of a moment. He seeks for God and loses himself in the creature. He is born a son of the house and he feeds on the husks of the swine in a strange land. He forsakes the fountain of living waters and hews out broken cisterns that can hold no water (Jer. 2:13)… Man is an enigma whose solution can be found only in God.
Herman Bavinck, The Wonderful Works of God, p. 6-7.

Searching for Another Womb

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Communion Meditation 

I have heard it said; that from the time we exit the womb, we are searching for another one.

The womb; a place of safety, shelter.  A place of belonging, security.  The womb, a place of unity and community – mother and child are physically united.

In a fallen world we are looking for that place of security, community, belonging.

We are looking to return to Eden.  The place where we belong. We are looking for home.  The place where we can walk with God in the cool of the day.  But because of our sin, the way home has been barred to us by the flaming sword of the angels.

The blood and righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ has opened the way home.  We can return to Eden, the place where we belong.  We can know security, community, belonging, safety. 

We can return home; home to the family dinner table.

Communion means many things; but it at least means this.  We, as prodigal sons and daughters, are welcomed home. 

We are washed, we are cleansed, we are forgiven.  But also, we are united to Christ and so we are united to one another.  We are all one in Christ Jesus.  We belong and are accepted.  We have found our community; our people; our friends and companions in Christ.

We come to this table in faith, and we come together as the people of God.

If these are not your people if you do not see Jesus and love him.  If you do not believe in the blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ, this table is not for you.  I warn you to stay away. Do not despise holy things for there will be a heavy price to pay.

If these are your people, and Jesus is your savior and friend.  Come to the table. Find the womb that you have been looking for. Come, and welcome to Jesus Christ.

Future Glory and Present Evil

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Communion Meditation

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18

The sufferings of this present time are real.

Evil is real. Sin has devastated God’s original design.  Sin has wounded you.  Evil has been visited upon you. Your sin and evil have spilled unto others as well.  Pain, suffering, injustice are real and they are weighty.

They are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us. I have done a quick review of my own life.  I have experienced more of the evil than I have of the glory.  The present suffering is tangible, I can touch and feel it.  The glory to come is distant; I do not fully experience nor understand it.  When I compare them, the evil seems larger, more substantial – it is real.  

Why is that? Because I do not rightly value the glory. It is a future glory; a glory that is yet to be revealed.  It is a promised glory. But I begin to see that glory is Jesus Christ. In the suffering and the victory of Jesus Christ. I see it at the cross.  He swallowed death, and sin and evil. He has overcome it.  That is the glory. 

The glory of God is the answer to the problem of evil; but many do not see it, because we do not see him.

In the cross, we see evil overcome.  In the cross, we see the love of God and the painful victory of the weeping savior.  We see the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Paul considered that the sufferings of this present age are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  How did he do that? By faith.  Faith in the promises of God.  Faith in the victorious Christ. Faith in the glory that will be revealed to us.

That is the faith that we come to the table with.  If you have no faith, you have not seen the glory and none of this makes sense.  Don’t come to this table. 

If you have faith, even weak faith, you can see something of God, and something of the glory of Christ; you must come to this table for more.

Evil is real; God has overcome it. And God is dismantling it even now.  Glory is coming.

Nothing Shall Separate Us …

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“We are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

The foundations of our civil order may crumble, but nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The church seems weak, hesitant, confused, divided; but nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My own walk with Christ is wavering, inconsistent; but nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My temptation grow stronger, my faith weaker, but nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am growing old, physically weaker than I have ever been; but nothing shale able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In communion, heaven and earth meet. Time and eternity dwell together.  This communion lifts our heads above the turmoil and discord of this fallen world and can see Christ, high and lifted up, sitting on the throne, unopposed; with our salvation safely in his hands.

Nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  That is what communion speaks to us.

A perfect righteousness has been achieved by Jesus, approved by God, and given to us by the Holy Spirit.  

The blood of Christ has already been shed, accepted by the Father, and applied by the Son.

At this table, we look back at a full, and complete salvation – and rejoice!

If God has ever truly singled you out for salvation and given you the gift of faith – this table shouts peace and joy to you.

Killing Sin

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When God’s Spirit gives us his presence and his salvation he also calls us to war.  War with sin. War with our sinful nature. War with our flesh. War with ourselves. To grow is grace is, in part, to kill the flesh – the vestiges of our old nature. We are either feeding the flesh and starving the Spirit, or feeding the Spirit and starving the flesh.  

The Puritans called this mortifying the flesh. “Do you mortify; do you make it your daily work; be always at it while you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you” (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation). Most Christians acknowledge this warfare as necessary and we give passing attention to it, but ….  That but is the problem.  We fight our sin like we fight our favorite unhealthy food; occasionally, half-heartedly, and with a secret plan to taste it again.

But this duel to the death with sin in not merely an old Puritan obsession, it is a Biblical command. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Romans 8:13). “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do” (Galatians 5:17).  We have been set free from the guilt and shame of sin, and we are being delivered from the power and presence of sin. “If you by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body…” Romans 13.  It is “by the Spirit” that we kill sin.  We are not left to our own resources, we have the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20), but we must put the armor on and enter the lists. We are passionately active in this duel with our sin. God works in us and with us, but in sanctification, He will not work without us.

The Hebrew Christians had suffered greatly for their commitment to Jesus as their Messiah.  They “endured a hard struggle” “being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction.” They had “compassion on those in prison” and they “joyfully accepted the plundering of (their) property” Hebrews 10:32-34.  They were in the trenches, standing with Christ and supporting his people.  But they were wavering, and uncertain because following Christ was increasingly difficult.  Yet, even in their sincere difficulty, they are exhorted to fight sin. “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood” (Hebrews 12:4).

It is football season and you can always tell who is winning by glancing at the scoreboard.  So, how are you doing in your battle with sin? Are you on the gridiron with your pads, your fresh bruises, and your blood, sweat, and tears? Or are you in the stands, with a greasy burger and a cold beer watching your team lose? What is the score? Brothers and sisters, to arms! The war is won, but our battle remains. Kill sin, or it will kill you.

Session Summary September 2021

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September 21, 2021

We began our meeting together with a meal in celebration of Ted Kuhn’s birthday.  We passed around a Westminster Photo Directory from 30 years ago. Three of our elders were in that book.  They are elders!!  Carla and Sharon attended our meeting and gave their input. Bryan led a devotion one the 3 R’s – Ruin, Redemption, and Restoration. We approved a new and improved Ministry Team Structure.  We are now recruiting Ministry Team Leaders and will eventually search for Ministry Team Members and other helpers.  Look for more information in the next few months.  Five special offerings were approved for the next year.  Two each for Debt Reduction and Missions, and one for Mercy.  We approved 5 elders and men from our church to fill the pulpit in the next year.  The Network of Prayer was discussed and commitments to prayer for our homes and neighborhoods were made.  A prayer map of the Augusta area will be up soon. On October 31, Laura Dekle will visit us from Engaging Disabilities Ministry.  We will also have a Reformation Day Celebration at the church that night.  No fellowship meal or prayer meeting that day.  Home Groups were discussed and preparations will be made to launch them in the next 3 or 4 months.  Our library Room is nearing completion.  A separate AV room is also in the works.  New pamphlets are available in the Narthex. The respect that our elders have for the church and for each other and the joy that they have in serving the bride of Christ is very evident and it is truly a blessing.

Hospitality

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“Hospitality is not simply inviting guests to your house, but welcoming people into your life, often at great cost to your own comfort, time, and plans. Hospitality is service to, interest in, and compassion for others.”

Joe Thorn

You’ve Got a Heart Problem

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Sin is a matter of the heart before it is ever an issue of our behavior. Tis means that your and my biggest problem in life exists inside us and not outside us. It’s the evil inside me that connects me to the evil outside me. So I must confess that I am my greatest problem. And if I confess this I am saying that I don’t so much need to be rescued from people, locations, and situations. I am in desperate need of the grace that is alone able to resue me from me. I can escape situations and relationships. But I have no power to escape me. Ths is exactly why David prayed in Psalm 51 that God would creaet a clean heart in him. God’s grace is grace for the heart, and that is very good news.
Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, March 7.

Got Friends?

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The Bible’s first pages show our inescapable need for relationships. Several times the creation story in Genesis 1 repeats the phrase “and God saw that it was good” (1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25). It climaxes with the seventh occurrence: “It was very good” (v. 31). Then in chapter 2, we read of one thing that is not good: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (2:18). Adam, the first human, lives, but he lives in isolation. And that’s a problem. As Martin Luther put it, “God created man for society and not for solitude.”[1]Thus we can each make this statement our own: it is not good that [your name] should be alone.
God announces Adam’s problem and then parades the animals before him. Why this, and why now? So that Adam might feel his need for community. The animal parade made a point: apparently, pets alone won’t do. Even “man’s best friend” passed by without special notice. This was because Adam didn’t need a pet; he needed another person. Animals are special, but human friendship is of a higher order.
This takes place before sin enters the world. That’s significant. Satan has not yet slithered in, the forbidden fruit has no fingerprints, and Adam’s conscience remains clear. The first problem in human history, the first problem on the pages of Scripture, the first problem in any human life, was not sin—it was solitude.
This means that the not-goodness of Adam’s aloneness was not a result of his fallenness. Adam stood there in Eden without fault, yet he also stood alone and therefore incomplete. He was missing something essential enough to warrant the divine declaration of “not good.” Adam, untouched by sin, needed a friend. Every soul reverberates with the echoes of this Edenic ache for friendship. It’s an ancient and primal longing. We are inescapably communal.
The opening chapters of Genesis cast a vision of the good life, full of shalom—a Hebrew concept referring in its fullest sense to flourishing, joy, and harmony. And this shalom exists between God, humanity, and creation. Each sphere of the physical world—land, sea, and sky—teems with life. Yet Adam stands in the middle of this exuberant wonder world—alone. Adam has life, and that’s a start. But he also needs community.
Drew Hunter