After the kids are grown and gone, you are more than halfway through this thing that we call life. How are you doing? How would you grade your life to this point? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What have you done right? What have you done wrong? What were your missed opportunities?
Why go through that potentially painful exercise in self-examination?
So that you can see clearly the rest of the way. If you can learn from the past for a better future.
You have invested in many of the right things; marriage, kids, a career, a church, a ministry. You have paid the bills and made your way through life with some acceptable degree of success.
You have made some mistakes too. You see it now. Age has brought you a measure of wisdom, but you cannot change the past. But you are wiser for the mistakes that you have made. I used to tell my kids, that if they would simply learn from their mistakes, they would all be geniuses by now! How much more is that true of empty nesters?
So, What is next for you in marriage and in life? What is marriage like after the empty nest?
Some marriages are so focussed on the kids; things like keeping them alive, reducing the damage that they can do as teenagers, and protecting them as best you can from the big mistakes in life. You have guided them into adulthood. It consumed much of your family time, all of your vacations, and 110% of your money. What now?
Now that you have the time, the money, and the freedom what will you do with it? How will your invest your time? What should marriage be like after the empty nest? It should be fantastic!! I can prove it in one word. Grandkids!! All of the fun of kids, without diapers, discipline, and sleepless nights.
But seriously, what will you invest in now that you have the time and the opportunity? How do we finish well? How do we best live after the empty nest? How can we have our latter days blessed?
What is your vision for life? What is your goal? We have one but many of us do not know what it is. What we actually do in life reveals what our vision for life is. What do we think that life is all about? Well, how do we actually live life? What do we spend our time on? So, what is your practical vision for life? What do you actually do?
I have sometimes said that you can discern someone’s vision for life by looking at the way they spend their money. That is what they value. But, the one thing in life that is more valuable than money is time. Your vision for life is revealed and proclaimed by what you spend your time on.
Let me give some practical advice for investing your time after the empty nest.
Pursue your spouse. All people are made in the image of God; that means that they are all potentially, infinitely fascinating. Including your spouse!! Deepen your marriage. You now have an unrestricted opportunity to discover your spouse. Make it a priority. Talk, fellowship, and share with each other. Serve them in love, and that love will return to you 10 fold. Take up a hobby together. Do life together.
Pursue your God. If the image of God in your spouse is fascinating, and it is; what will knowing the God behind the image be like? Go deeper into your knowledge of God, your experience of God, and your enjoyment of God. You have more time to pursue God, pursue Him. Spend time with God, the ancient of days. Benefit from his wisdom.
Daily apply the gospel to yourself. Remind yourself daily who you are in Christ.
Invest in your kids and grandkids. Your children still need you. Your support and encouragement can be a tremendous blessing to their families and their marriage. Invest in your kids, still. Pour yourself, your love, and wisdom into your grandchildren.
Set your house in order. Write a will; answer the end-of-life questions; put it in writing. Plan your funeral. Get rid of the junk you have accumulated as you traveled through life. Don’t make your kids do it.
Invest in a church, a church fellowship, and a ministry. You have time, experience, and gifts. Use them. Be yourself in the presence of God and his people. Receive the love of God freely offered to you in the gospel. Hang around those people whose lives have been changed, sweetened, and redeemed by the grace of God. There is nothing better in life and no greater preparation for heaven.
Every stage of life has its joys and opportunities. The empty nest can be, and perhaps should be, the best time of your life.