My Aunt Margaret, my father’s last living sibling, is dying. I am now promoted to the terminal generation. The last great enemy is slowly, or is it quickly, approaching. “We are all on the clock,” writes Ben Sasse. At 54 years old, just before Christmas, he sent out this sad but hopeful note. “Last week I was diagnosed with metastasized, stage-four pancreatic cancer, and (I) am gonna die. Advanced pancreatic cancer is nasty stuff; it’s a death sentence. But I already had a death sentence before last week too—we all do.”
Are we prepared to fight the last great enemy? We have the tools. We have heard the sermons on eternal life and listened to many hopeful funeral orations. The armor and the weapons to grapple with that “wicked thief” are within our reach, but do we know how to wield them? Ben Sasse is dying as a Christian with true grief, great joy, and a life-giving hope. And he is dying publicly for our benefit! The quotes are all his.
“Death and dying aren’t the same — the process of dying is still something to be lived.” He is living while he is dying. He is boldly speaking into the world practical wisdom, certain hope, and living faith. “God smashing idols for us is a blessing, and having a death sentence is a really good way.”
What sustains you in your battle with death? “I said I believe we’re all on the clock. We’re all dying. So, this is not the scariest thing to me. I’ve always known that we’re going to be pushing up daisies eventually. This is more finite. Death is terrible. We should never sugarcoat it. It is not how things are meant to be. But it is great that death can be called the final enemy. It’s an enemy, but it’s a final enemy, and there will then be no more tears.” “I believe in the resurrection, and I believe in a restoration of this world. So, I did not feel great fear about my death. I didn’t want the pain I was going through. I knew that God wasn’t surprised by the diagnosis. There is not a maverick molecule in the universe.”
“To live is Christ, to die is gain,” quoting Philippians 1:21. “The resurrection is the reason we have hope even when we’re dying.” What would you change, looking back from the edge of death? “The foolishness of our works is pretty apparent when you try to really look at the accounting of a life. One thing I tell my kids a lot is, ‘Man, I wish I’d taken the Lord’s Day more seriously…it’s a really good antidote to all those idolatries.’”
“The eternal city—with foundations and without cancer—is not yet, but it is real, and it is coming. We hope in a real Deliverer.” “I’ve continued to feel a peace about the fact that death is something that we should hate. We should call it a wicked thief. And yet, it’s pretty good that you pass through the vale of tears one time, and then there will be no more tears; there will be no more cancer.
Are you angry at God ever? “No. I wouldn’t want a sovereign God to defer to all of my prayers with a yes. I’m not omniscient. I don’t know what the weaving together of the tapestry of full redemption should look like, but I know going through the period of suffering that I’m going through is a benefit because it is a winnowing. I’m filled with dross. This suffering is not salvific, but it’s sanctifying, and I’m grateful for it.”
“Tim Keller said, I hate pancreatic cancer. I would never wish it on anyone, but I would never want to go back to a time in my life where I didn’t know the prayer (life) of pancreatic cancer. “I now, in the midst of this disease, know much more the truth of my finitude than I ever let myself believe in the past. The hubristic nonsense—I believe in God, and I’m grateful and blessed, but I can build a storehouse that can be pretty deistically persuasive. My soul thinks Ben should be God, and I want that to die. Cancer sucks. But I’m pretty grateful that cancer is a stake against my delusional self-idolatry.”
Do you think you’re ready to die? “I don’t feel ready. But to whom would I go?… And we’re told that we get to approach the Almighty, we get to approach the divine, and call him Daddy, Abba, Father? That’s pretty glorious. And I know that that’s what I need.”
“I’m with Paul when he says to live is Christ, to die is gain. Obviously death is a wicked thief. I don’t want it to happen. But we’re mortals, and it seems like it’s not sophisticated or modern or naive to pretend we’re not mortals. It’s true. And so you gotta grapple with big questions. And this is not news to me that I had numbered days. It just became a more precise number. We all (have) numbered days. Redeem the time in my theology means it is a great blessing to be able to live a life of gratitude to God by doing stuff that tries to benefit your neighbor. It is a blessing to get to be co-creators, but we don’t build any storehouses that last. The things that matter and endure are human souls and things way bigger than any of my projects… The chance to love your neighbor and serve is a blessing. And that’s what the Puritans meant by redeem the time.”
We are all called to fully live while the last great enemy approaches. The terminal generation welcomes us all. Let us redeem the time and nurture our certain hope in Christ. The best is yet to come. Live like that today. I will see you next Sabbath.