Too many children raised in covenant fellowship by godly parents walk away from the faith as adults. Why? We usually answer based on our own experience. And it is true in an anecdotal way. ‘The parents were too harsh, the church was too weak, the children were too wild.’ Some have studied the issue and interviewed those who have departed and asked them why. The answers varied, but generally fell into four categories.
They have sincere unanswered questions about the faith. Many see the faith from a distance and in the abstract. They have real issues, queries about the Christian faith and its practical, real-world application but they do not have a safe place to ask those questions. So, when their incomplete faith meets a complete secular onslaught they are completely unarmed. They have inadequate answers and are not willing to stand on what they do not understand. Perhaps this is incomplete discipleship. There are real world answers to all of their questions but they unaware of them.
They do not experience the joy, peace, and fulness of the faith. They may have seen living faith in others, but have not tasted and seen that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). They think that they have tried the faith and found it wanting. The practical application and benefit of walking with God in community escapes them. It does not make sense to them where the rubber hits the road. In other words, they do not see how the faith works in a real-world way. The faith is not useful. The church begins to look really narrow and judgmental.
They allow other things to take priority. Their gaming, reading, education, friends, and the indoctrination they receive from TV, movies, and music have a greater impact than Sunday morning “lectures.” Others things take priority because they seen more fitting, appropriate, fulfilling, fun. They take small steps following the Pied Piper until they completely disappear. (“Pied Piper” is a metaphor for a person who attracts a following through charisma or false promises). They are socialized by the world and not by the church.
They never personally owned their faith or pursued it. Unanswered questions, impractical restrictions, and the siren call of the “real” world call them away from the old paths, the faith once for all delivered to the saints. (Jeremiah 6:16 “Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ See Jude 1:3) They have not understood the faith, nor practiced it. They have not pursued their questions nor walked in the faith in a real way. “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” G.K. Chesterton.
What can we do about it? Answer their questions, be open and honest about your questions, fears, doubts, and failures. Show them practical, everyday Christianity. Disciple them. Love them. Know them. Nurture them. Pray for them. Show them the real, practical wisdom of walking with God. Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Discipleship and teaching. Parents, like your math teacher demanded, show your work. Don’t simply give them the right answer, show your work. Don’t merely tell them what to believe, show them why. Take them by the hand and walk with them through the forests of the faith. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.